The Day Benjamin Came Into Our Lives

-->

Around 3am on Wednesday, May 15, I woke up feeling some light contractions. I had been feeling contractions on and off for a few weeks, so this was nothing new. I was in and out of sleep for about an hour before I decided the contractions were getting more intense and I needed to get up and move around a bit to relieve the discomfort. I went out to the living room and focused on relaxing through them, ate a small snack and sipped some water. At this point, I wasn’t convinced that it was real labor but I was preparing, just in case. Around 4:30, Andre came out to the living room and asked what was going on. I told him I was having contractions but not to get his hopes up because I thought they would fade off. About 5:45, they were coming every 3 minutes or so and lasting close to 45 seconds each. This meant I was in active labor, but I was still in denial because I didn’t want to get excited if it was nothing. Plus, I was easily able to breath through each contraction and I thought they would be a lot stronger if I was really in active labor. But I trusted my body and decided that it was time to call my parents to come stay with Jordi. (My parents have been here in Virginia staying at an Airbnb.) By now it was 6am and we decided to start packing up any last minute things and head to the hospital, which was a 35-40 minute drive away. My parents got to our apartment around 6:30 and Andre and I left just a few minutes later. I had a contraction outside, on the way to the car, but once I got in the car, my contractions slowed down a lot. I was only having a contraction once every 8 minutes or so and I started doubting that going to the hospital was the right choice. We kept going anyway and arrived at the hospital around 7:10. As soon as I got out of the car, my contractions picked back up again. We got to the waiting room and waited to be taken back. While in the waiting room, I was having consistent, strong contractions but was able to manage them with my breathing and wasn’t feeling like I needed to rush anything. Finally, after about 15 minutes, they took us back to a room. I don’t think anyone believed I was very far along in my labor because no one seemed to be in a rush. After answering a million annoying questions and being asked to sit on the bed to monitor the baby for 30 minutes (which never ended up happening by the way, haha!), I said I was feeling a lot of pressure down there and they decided to stop asking questions and check me. To everyone’s surprise, even my own, I was almost fully dilated. They called my doctor and started prepping for delivery. After 2 contractions with lots of pressure, I said out loud that I felt like I needed to start pushing. There was one nurse in the room at the time and then within seconds, my doctor ran in, as well as several other nurses. At this point I was still sitting with my back up against the bed and I knew I didn’t want to deliver in that position. I said I wanted to move to the foot of the bed and have Andre sit behind me to support me. Before the next contraction, I was able to move to the end of the bed, but the urge to push came on quickly and Andre was just to my side, holding me up awkwardly. That urge left and we had about 10 seconds before the next contraction came. He jumped on the bed behind me, supported my arms and back and Benjamin was born within a minute at 8:21am!

It happened so incredibly fast, I think it caught everyone off guard, even me and Andre. Just an hour prior, I was still not fully convinced that it was real labor, haha! The incredible thing is that the contractions never felt as strong as I had expected them to, and I think that’s why I never really believed that this was it, until it was really go time. I was so relaxed and in control that the intensity of labor never got all that intense. Not anywhere near what I was expecting at least. It wasn’t until I started feeling so much pressure down there that I started losing some control and feeling like it was too much. The last two contractions, where I could feel him coming out, is when things got crazy. All of my breathing and relaxation got thrown out the window and my body just took over. The feeling was so intense and my body was in so much shock that I had this paralyzing, numbing feeling run all the way up my body, into my neck, arms and hands. It felt as though it was impossible to control anything. I was almost just whimpering through it rather than putting force anywhere. Once they started telling me to bear down and focus my breathing and energy on pushing, I was able to use my brain and actually think about it. Finally, I was feeling like I was making progress and after the longest few seconds of my life, his head was out, and with one more push, his body was out. I immediately got to hold him and felt so much relief. I couldn’t believe I had actually done it! It took a few minutes for my body to calm down. The tingling that had run up through my body finally started to dissipate and my legs eventually stopped shaking. I had a second-degree tear and needed some numbing and stitches. He had pooped inside during delivery so they had to take him away for a few minutes just to make sure he hadn’t ingested any of it. Once they were able to give him back to me, he started nursing almost immediately. After a lot of blood loss, they had to pump me with Pitocin to speed up the process of my uterus shrinking. They had to push on my belly and force out several large blood clots, which was not fun at all. After a couple hours, we were able to bring Jordi in to meet his new baby brother!

Thinking back, it all feels like a dream. It happened so quickly and the fact that I only felt like I was in labor for a couple hours just blows my mind. From the first contraction to delivery, was about 5 hours, but for the first 3 hours, I didn’t even know if it was real. I’ve heard stories of women who have fast labors and deliveries and I always envied them. Now I’m one of them and I’m still in awe of it! And that I was able to do it the way I have worked so hard for for the last few months.

Natural childbirth isn't easy, but it is an incredible experience that proves how powerful and amazing women truly are. Experiencing it for myself has taught me that I am strong and capable and I can do anything I set my mind to. I have never felt so proud of myself! 

Time for an Update

I really don't use this blog all that often; at this point it's just a way to share occasional updates on my life and another way to keep a journal for myself. So that's exactly what I'm doing! I have been feeling lately like I need to share what's going on in my life for friends and family who care to know but I don't keep in good contact with.

So, life has honestly been really great lately! Currently, we are living in Chester, Virginia while Andre is working as a Health and Safety Specialist for Amazon. Recently, we spent a couple weeks in Arizona for Christmas, New Years and Jordi's birthday. Jordi did an awesome job on the trip there, he loved spending time with Grandma and Grandpa and his uncles: Jeff, Eric and Tim. We made Christmas cookies, played in the snow, rode on a train, ate lots of yummy food (Thanks, Mom), played with trains and towers and played lots of games. It was great to spend time with family and see some old friends and just enjoy being back in my hometown.

Jordi turned 2 years old last week and he is a dream! There's no doubt he's a toddler and he has his stubborn and difficult moments, but overall he is easy-going and mild-mannered, just like his daddy! He is shy around strangers and hates when mom or dad leaves the room. He is turning into quite the cuddler and I am loving it! Soaking it up while I can because I can't help but remember that one day he will be a teenager :( His vocabulary is exploding and he loves to repeat everything he hears. He understands English and Spanish in many instances and regularly uses words in both languages. He blows me away with how smart he is. He is learning some colors and numbers and can identify lots of animals and objects. His favorite things are planes, trains and building towers and he excitedly announces anytime he sees a plane flying in the sky, even if it's just a little speck. He is so observant, it amazes me sometimes. Now that we are awaiting the arrival of a new baby, I can't help but watch Jordi and think about him being a big brother! It's honestly kind of hard to imagine right now; him not being my baby anymore. Just a few short months though and it'll be a reality. I'm still trying to process it!

As for me, I spend my days at home with Jordi, just getting to be his mom, which I love! But for almost 2 years now, I've been teaching English online (VIPKid) in the mornings before he wakes up and last September, I started teaching dance in the evenings while Andre puts him to bed. All while growing another human being inside of me! It sounds like a lot, but honestly I feel great! Some days are longer than others. Mondays I wake up at 4:30 and teach until 8:30am. Andre has Mondays off so we spend the day together with Jordi (oftentimes including doc appointments) then I teach dance from 6-9pm. Tuesdays are almost the same as Mondays. Then as the week goes on, my days get less and less busy until the weekend comes and I get a two-day break (except from the mom part, of course). The best part of it all is that Andre and I make a great team... I take care of Jordi while he works (Wed-Sat) and he takes care of Jordi while I work (Mon-Fri). We're both able to have a life outside the home but our schedules work together so we don't have to worry about someone else taking care of our child. We still get to be there for those special moments, which is so important to me. Every time I think about it, I feel so blessed to be in this situation; it has been perfect for us. There are times when being a stay-at-home-mom makes me feel self-conscious and I wonder if I could be doing something more. This has given me the best of both worlds. I still get to be a "stay-at-home-mom" during the day but I also get to go out and work, do something I love, and contribute to the household income. It has done so much for my self-esteem and has all been such a blessing. At least for now, I wouldn't have it any other way.

As for the future, our new baby boy will be here in May and then we need to figure out what the heck we are doing. Our apartment contract ends in June and we've recently been talking about what we want. At this time in our lives, we have so many options. Do we stay here, continue renting and stick with what we've got going? Even then, we're in a two-bedroom apartment and feel like we'll need something bigger within the next year. So do we look into buying a house? If so, do we buy it here or try to find work elsewhere and buy one there? Do we even want to stay in Chester, let alone Virginia? Does Andre want to keep working for Amazon? Does he want to get a Master's degree? Where do we want to settle down? There are so many questions that come to our minds when we think about the future. We've got a good thing going here and now, but we don't feel content staying here for all that long. Everything just feels up in the air and we find ourselves trying to get all the answers at once. We often have to remind ourselves to slow down and take life a day at a time.

Overall, life is keeping us busy and there are always questions arising, but we are so happy and feel so blessed with all these opportunities, changes and challenges. We've got a good life going!

Thanks for reading!

Love,
Wendy