Roller Coaster

My life right now is a seriously insane roller coaster, with corkscrews, loops, ups and downs and a whole lot of twists. Getting through this semester is going to be an experience that I'm not so sure I'm ready for. Projects and assignments coming out my ears already, and right now, I can't even handle myself. My thoughts and feelings are everywhere, to the point where I can't even keep up with them. One day, I'm happy as a bumblebee and the next, I feel like a loser with no friends who sucks at life. I guess that's part of life, but I can't seem to handle it lately. Am I going through a mid-life crisis? At 19?! I tell myself everyday to be happy and look at the positive in things, and to be nice to everyone because everyone is fighting their own battle, but I look around and everyone seems so happy. So... why? I guess everyone else is just better at hiding their feelings.. or something. One day, hopefully soon, I will be able to look at things I used to freak out about, and laugh. Hopefully I'll just be able to live life, and not worry about all the stupid little things, and go through my day with a REAL smile on my face, not one that is pasted on (when I'm even able to do that). I've been working on this for quite a while now and you would not believe how hard it is for me! I'm amazed at what a truly moody, emotional, depressing person I can be. Thank heavens for friends who take me as I am and help me to become a better person and the person I ultimately want to be.